Fighting In Vain - NieR

            Nier has been seeing somewhat of a renaissance lately now that its unsubtitled successor was announced at Square Enix’s E3 Press Conference. The announcement came out like an unexpected bang even after the previous night’s miracles have settled down in our scope of reality. Also, with Platinum Games being confirmed for the sequel and Yoko Taro taking the stage in an Emil mask the announcement was a shock that just kept on escalating. The Nier franchise (I still haven’t gotten used to that reality) is getting an unprecedented amount of respect being given the chance to be continued by the finest in Japanese game development.

However, as exciting as this brave new world of Nier may seem, at that moment I barely knew what Nier even was or what made it something very special. I purchased Nier, ironically at the same time with Metal Gear Rising: Revengence, (a Platinum Games successor to another series acclaimed for its narrative feats) when I purchased my Playstation 3 earlier this year. I actually missed out on a lot of games this last generation considering most of my focus was on multiplayer shooters. Nier is game that I’d bet many people slept on. On the surface it’s a pretty unimpressive looking action RPG, but under that admittedly bland, unassuming façade is possibly one of the best games of the last generation.

Right away, before I delve too deep into spoiler territory, I want to say I fully recommend this game. The combat isn’t even close to Platinum Games’s level or even on the level of more average action games, but it is still serviceable. Nier might be a spin-off of the original Drakengard, but trust me you will not need to suffer through the boring tedium of Drakengard to get into Nier. The most from Drakengard that you even need to know is to look up its Ending E as that is the only bit of Drakengard that is even relevant.

The game starts you in the setting of a destroyed Tokyo. You are an older man in search of help for your deathly ill daughter. Suddenly mysterious creatures known as Shades appear and you must fight them off to defend your daughter. In your desperation you call upon the powers of a mysterious grimoire that gives you magical powers. No matter how hard you fight, you can never save your daughter from her illness. Your fate is already sealed.

Then the game inexplicably jumps forward over a thousand years. You are now Nier, the protagonist of the game, father to Yonah who is ill with a mysterious disease only known as the Black Scrawl. Like many RPGs before it, our protagonist’s journey starts in a humble village. However, Nier is no ordinary RPG story. Nier is a story about how the typical hero’s journey is completely in vain. Nier subverts your expectations of a grand adventure and gives you a sad tale. No matter how hard you try, Nier’s fight to save his daughter is only fighting in vain.

The game is not only about Nier, Yonah, and a mysterious disease. Nier holds one of the most memorable cast of characters I’ve seen in a long, long time. Grimoire Weiss is a mysterious talking book that gives Nier the ability to fight shades using magic, but Weiss—sorry, Grimoire Weiss is his own full character. He speaks with god-like superiority over the lowly scum that is the human race. His banter with other characters is some of the best dialogue I’ve seen in a game.

Also in our cast is Kainé, a woman clad in strangely revealing undergarments who has a mouth that would put sailors to shame. Her crude language is often times maybe a bit excessive, but still extremely memorable. She often fights with Grimoire Weiss and when these two butt heads, it’s some of the greatest banter you’ll see in a video game. This includes the very first thing you’ll likely hear as your turn on the game, the fan favorite “Weiss, you dumbass!”rant.

However, Kainé has much more to her than her smack talk. Kainé’s story is probably one of my favorite stories in a video game. She is a character I’ve gained a deeply personal relation to. When Kainé was young she was often teased and abused by people in her home village. The only person she had was her grandmother who was tragically murdered by a Shade. The game briefly hints at it, but Kainé is a hermaphrodite. Kainé was born with a penis. You can see how this can be really relatable for trans women. Her whole character makes a lot of sense as you apply transgender subtext to. Her ridiculous outfit is her trying to appear as feminine as possible. She’s cold and distant from other people because she’s used to a world of abuse. Though as amazing as this backstory is, the game actually barely touches on it. The game doesn’t try to preach any major moral with her identity, which is actually a nice change.

Also a member of Nier’s party is Emil. Emil is a precious young boy who is cursed that everything he looks at will turn to stone, though he’s no ordinary cursed child as he is actually an experimental weapon created by the military. Eventually, Nier and Emil find the facility Emil was created in and they awaken his true form. Emil’s true form looks like a strange skeleton doll, but with this form he gains great magical power. Also a fun fact, Emil is canonically gay.

Though Kainé and Emil’s backstories are tragic, the two find a sibling like relationship. In this harsh world, they finally found someone who they can look for support. Kainé acts as the older sister and reassures Emil that his existence is not a cure, but a blessing. Emil acts as a younger brother to Kainé and is one of the few people that Kainé has ever known who would never hurt her. Sadly they aren’t allowed in towns due to villagers thinking they are monsters, but they make the best of it by bonding over campfires. I feel I can definitely read into this text of solidarity under oppression. The two live harsh lives but are able to make it more manageable with each other. There’s definitely a queerness solidarity you could read there too, but like I’ve said the game doesn’t focus too much on these identities.

Nier’s journey takes him and the others on a quest to find the Sealed Verses as well as find Grimoire Noir to try and cure Yonah’s illness. The journey takes them to many lands including an old factory where two brothers and their recently deceased mother try to survive, and a village of strange rule bound masked people. The stories of these locations are also ultimately tragic as one of the brothers is killed by a machine which apparently inspires the older brother to use the factory to make killing machines. (Maybe we’ll see the extent of this cruelty of man in the sequel) Also a helpful young girl of the masked village and bride-to-be of the king is tragically murdered by a Shade.

However, it seems Nier’s journey was a shame constructed by the mysterious Shade, The Shadowlord, who looks suspiciously like Nier. Nier’s quest was actually a plot for Grimoire Noir to merge himself with Grimoire Weiss. Also, it turns out the major twist of the story is that Shades are actually human beings and the humans of this world are actually beings called Replicants, who are bodies that the Shades would return to once the world was safe, and the merging of the two Grimoires would trigger this event. However, Weiss resists Noir and the party go on to destroy the Shadowlord’s plan. Turns out The Shadow is lord is really the original Nier and he needs Yonah to bring his own daughter back.

This twist is extremely interesting for a ton of reasons. First off, Nier’s journey to save his daughter ultimately damns mankind into extinction. Also, recontextualizing the Shades as human beings makes Nier’s quest seem wrong and much more tragic. In Playthrough B you get to actually hear the Shades speak and former bosses become tragic stories of Nier murdering these people. All of this supports the message that Nier is doing the wrong thing. His quest to save his daughter is really just a father who cannot accept his daughter’s eventual death. Perhaps if only Nier would’ve stayed home and spent Yonah’s remaining time with her, none of these tragic events would’ve ever happened. To top this all off, according to Yoko Taro, the director of Nier, in no ending is Yonah ever cured of her illness, though this is sadly not made very clear by the game itself.

A stable of Yoko Taro’s games are multiple endings, which Nier also has, though most of these don’t change events nearly as dramatically as the game’s predecessor Drakengard. The game has 4 endings. Ending A is pretty standard. Nier and Yonah are reunited, Kainé leaves the group, and Emil sacrifices himself. Ending B is technically the same, but it shows things through the perspective of The Shadowlord being reunited with his daughter in death, also it is revealed that Emil actually survived, but is just a tiny bouncing head now.

Ending C and D however are choice endings for the “True” Ending of Nier. The Shade, Tyrann that was possessing Kainé takes over her body and Nier must fight it. Ending C is where Nier chooses to put Kainé out of her misery, but Ending D is much more special. In Ending D, in order to save Kainé’s life Nier must sacrifice his very existence and all memory of him. However, the game takes this to even the player as Ending D erases the player’s save file symbolizing Nier’s erased existence. Ending D is probably one of the strangest, but amazing ending options to a video game. After Nier is gone Kainé speaks with Yonah saying she feels like she lost “something very special”.

Nier is a game about fighting in vain. It’s a game where your goal is subverted and rendered completely pointless. It’s a game that says the very journey you want is wrong. Eventually the game goes so far that a “hero’s noble sacrifice” is completely subverted to the game erasing that this hero’s journey ever happened. Nier is a very, very sad, tragic, depressing game that is also a text about the lie of masculinity, of fatherhood that is this hero’s journey. Nier is probably my favorite JRPG of the past console generation and maybe even possible THE best game of that generation. Yoko Taro, the now defunct Cavia, this is their masterpiece.

I Will Not Be Locked Up Again - LISA The Joyful

Content Warning: The following contains discussions of child abuse, rape, and suicide.

Spoiler Warning: The following contains spoilers for LISA The Joyful.

Lastly, there is LISA The Joyful, a DLC epilogue chapter for LISA The Painful. Like the base game Joyful is a sidescrolling RPG. This time the game stars Buddy immediately after the events of LISA The Painful’s end. LISA The Joyful is much shorter than LISA The Painful and only has one party member who ultimately leaves Buddy halfway through the game.

Joyful is a much lesser game than Painful in a lot of ways. For instance Buddy’s moveset leaves for little to no variety making the game feel a lot more tedious. Joyful’s plot is also not quite as potent. The game is more of a closing of loose ends than a full narrative in itself. That said I did quite enjoy Joyful. I enjoyed blazing through it as fast as possible.

The story of LISA The Joyful starts with a flashback of Brad kidnapping a man and he brings him home to Buddy. Brad then commands Buddy to brutally murder the man so she can learn how to kill. Once again this is a prime example of Brad “protecting” Buddy, but also being a terrible abusive father. Immediately after, the game cuts back to the end of LISA The Painful where Buddy is defending herself from a mutated Brad, though you don’t quite get the catharsis of killing Brad (boo) as Buzzo interrupts you to save Brad so he can continue to make Brad suffer.

Buddy is alone in the wasteland, but turns out Rando still survived and shockingly enough he joins your party. Sadly, having the final boss as your party member is more tedious than fun. He has a similar moveset to Brad, but not nearly as strong. Also the number one issue of Rando is that he doesn’t sleep when you rest at a campfire, thankfully when he’s around there will be no random events, but gosh it’s annoying having to heal Rando with items.

Similar to the story of LISA The Painful, the goal is simple. Buddy having been freed from Brad’s oppression Buddy decides to make it impossible for anyone to lock her in a cage again. Though Buddy decides to do this in the only way she understands how, and that is by murdering all the remaining leaders of Olathe making herself Queen. It’s understandable why Buddy thinks this way. She’s been raised in a basement where all she knows is abuse and from the opening flashback, violence. However, it is really disappointing and probably a negative effect of the honest cruel outlook on the effects of abuse. Really, I feel it is a bit too cruel for the narrative to assume that Buddy can’t make it out of this system as a good person, but at the very least it is nice that playing as Buddy now with her own control over her destiny, feels very powerful which I think is probably more what this is going for.

There’s honestly not much more to talk about as killing all the bosses is mostly just going through the motions for the most part. While Rando is still in your party he reveals more of his backstory. Rando is an adopted son of Brad who Brad disowned, in the secret Pain Mode ending of LISA The Painful it is revealed that Buzzo is responsible for disfiguring his face as punishment to Brad for not saving Lisa. Rando protests Buddy constantly and asks her not to murder everyone and eventually leaves when he realizes he can’t change Buddy’s mind, as Buddy will not be controlled by another man.

The bosses are just pretty boring vaguely themed gang leaders. You make your way through each area murdering innocents and gang members alike. There is one area in particular that is pretty great. Mr. Beautiful and his village are well respected pacifists. Buddy is completely confused by the very concept of pacifism, but she goes on to murder Mr. Beautiful and optionally all the pacifist villagers.

                There is a mask system in LISA The Joyful where Buddy can use masks to change certain interactions with characters. If Buddy is unmasked almost every single NPC will attack Buddy immediately, including merchants and bartenders. Masked Buddy can avoid certain battles and even buy things from shops since they won’t immediately attack her. I do get that this system is a bit of a callback to a brief moment in the beginning of LISA The Painful where Brad disguises Buddy with a mask, but honestly I didn’t really find this system even worth messing with. I went with Maskless Buddy because killing NPCs give me more XP which is very important since Buddy is going it alone.

LISA The Joyful gives some backstory to Buzzo who is a character with a larger role in this game. Sadly Buzzo’s backstory seems really redundant. Basically, he loved Lisa and is emotionally scarred by her suicide. What I feel really pointless though is the whole story about how Lisa got Buzzo to cut her with a buzzsaw so she’ll look unattractive and Marty won’t want her anymore. Obviously it didn’t work so it just seems more edgy bullshit. Also having yet another character who abuses others due to what happened to Lisa seems really redundant anyway since Brad already fills that role.

Around halfway through the game Buddy meets with Rando once again. Rando is suspended over a cliff and you get to choose whether or not you wish to drop him to his death. Interestingly this is very similar to the scene where Brad kills Marty as your choice really doesn’t matter. If you try to save Rando he reveals to Buddy he’s been lying to her and that he staged the kidnapping earlier in the game to try and coerce her to safety, similar to Brad. Upon hearing this Buddy drops Rando anyway furious that even the heroic Rando tried to “protect” her against her consent. Interestingly, if you go to Rando’s corpse with the Joy mask on you see a hallucination of Brad next to Rando’s body, symbolizing Buddy’s hatred of the men who tried to control her.

After you kill all the leaders of Olathe you end up meeting Yado, the scientist responsible for Joy and the controller of the Joy mutants. He sits atop a throne of mutant flesh, which Buddy says she wants. While fighting Yado, the effects of Joy begin making Buddy hallucinate the faces of Rando and Brad on Yado which she attacks. In reality she’s attacking Yado. These hallucination boss fights are likely Buddy trying to solve her mental conflict of not being able to escape the effects of her abuse, similar to the more surreal psychological events in LISA The First. Eventually Yado reveals that he is the creator and god of the mutants and Buddy’s real father. Once again, another terrible father figure to take down. Buddy doesn’t get to kill him either as Buzzo comes and kills Yado. Buddy receives a Joy antidote from Yado which will save her from becoming a Joy Mutant. Buzzo offers some final words trying to redeem Brad in vain and feeling regret for making him suffer, and then he turns into a Joy Mutant, and the final boss.

Buddy kills Buzzo and shortly begins hallucinating due to Joy again. She sees Brad who is representative of Buddy not being able to escape her abuse in her mind, drawing more parallels between Buddy and Lisa. She also sees a hallucination of Rando who offers her the fantasy of being a queen if she chooses to refuse the antidote, thus becoming a Joy mutant. They player gets the choice whether or not Buddy takes the antidote. Taking the antidote is Buddy accepting her reality and living on in Olathe. Refusing the antidote allows Buddy to escape reality and ultimately dies due to the Joy mutation. The mutation ending is yet another reflection of Lisa in Buddy. She can only really escape her father’s abuse in death. It is up to Buddy whether she can accept this or not.

Roll credits. That is the end of LISA The Series. The series ends with Buddy finally being able to choose her fate for herself. Whether or not she is able to accept she will never truly escape Brad’s abuse is up to the player’s choice, and choice is what Buddy’s quest to rule Olathe was all about. LISA The Series has been quite an emotional experience for me the past week. From being scared to walk down the stairway to choosing whether or not to take the antidote I’ve felt fear, pain, and… well… Joy.

You Hurt Me The Most - LISA The Painful

Content Warning: The following contains discussions of child abuse, rape, and suicide.

            Pain is a very good word to describe the LISA series. Not in a ludic sense that it is challenging, but that its narrative is hard to take. It’s a very harsh, but honest story, a story of abuse.

            LISA The Painful is definitely the “core” of the series. It’s not only by far the longest of three, but it’s also where the game’s narrative conceits all come together to express what the series has to say not only about abuse, but fatherhood and masculinity.

            LISA The Painful is probably best known as the post-apocalyptic side-scrolling RPG that was backed on Kickstarter. A sacrifice system where you must sacrifice party members or your own limbs was a big attraction to the game. The game is also well known for its cameos from people like The Dismal Jesters. “A game about survival, sacrifice, and perverts…” was the big marketing tagline for LISA The Painful on its Kickstarter page which I wouldn’t say is wrong, but the Kickstarter paints a much different picture than I what I feel I’ve experienced playing the game. Maybe focus shifted into this darker narrative later down the line, but considering it has always shared the title LISA, I’d doubt it. Possibly advertising your game as a narrative about child abuse and toxic masculinity just doesn’t sell sadly. I’m not really throwing shade towards Dingaling. The game does deliver on its promise of a very charming Earthbound mixed with Fist of the North Star vibe it’s selling itself on when it’s not knee deep in the despair of its narrative, but it’s just so surreal to see the Kickstarter page after playing the game. Oh and if you are curious, no I did not back the game.

            There was a great white flash and suddenly the world was a barren wasteland. We leave the mind of Lisa and enter the post-apocalyptic world of Olathe. Decades have passed. The world is a ruin full of gangs, drugs, violence, but completely bereft of women. However, our protagonist for this game Brad Armstrong, son of Marty and brother to Lisa, finds an orphaned infant girl. He decides to keep her for himself to raise as his daughter. He names her Buddy.

            The game opens on its main menu. Before you on the right of the frame is a familiar sprite, Lisa, hanged. Before the apocalypse Brad and Lisa lived with Marty in their seemingly normal home. Though we know from LISA The First that is clearly not the case. Lisa and Brad were abused by their alcoholic father, Lisa we know was frequently raped by Marty. The very first sight we see even before starting the game tells us exactly where LISA The First led. Brad then looks to his new adopted daughter Buddy, and thinks of her as his second chance to make up for not being able to save Lisa.

            Immediately we already see the game’s narrative and messaging coming together. A land of men in chaos that has wiped out all of women except for one infant girl, the game doesn’t say exactly why, but considering the game’s theme of men’s abuse on women it’s not too much to infer that the unchecked toxic masculinity was taken to its extreme in the wasteland and they abused women into near extinction. That’s already just the setting and theme sending a potent message about what it thinks of the horrors of masculinity.

            Also extremely important to our setting is the drug Joy. Joy is an extremely addictive drug that a lot of men of Olathe have taken to cope with the end of the world. Joy often has the side effect of forcing people to act on their inner most desires. It also has some other extreme side effects. For now what is important about Joy is that Brad is an addict. It’s implied that Brad took to Joy to escape from the ghosts of Marty’s abuse and Lisa’s death. Brad’s Joy addiction is also a strong reflection of his father’s alcoholism which may have been partly responsible for his abuse. If that wasn’t enough Joy addiction is an important gameplay mechanic where Brad can suffer from Withdrawals which affects his performance in battle. Joy is also an extremely powerful consumable that both replenishes health, but also buffs damage done. The gameplay functions of Joy are not quite as important other than the game constantly trying to tempt you into using Joy.

            The adventure begins as word about Buddy being the sole surviving woman in the apocalypse spreads and she kidnapped. Brad must go on a journey to get Buddy back. It sounds like a pretty boring standard hero’s journey but don’t worry, the game does a great job at subverting this to express its ideas about Brad and his quest to save Buddy. On your journey you’ll meet many strange characters including childhood friends, childhood bullies, party members who you can enlist into your party, and two very important antagonists to Brad, the masked warlord Rando and a man obsessed with causing Brad pain Buzzo.

The party members are honestly pretty boring and literally expendable characters. Party members can leave your party or be Perma-Killed either through events or special boss moves. The characters are mostly just one-note characters with a variety of abilities. They’re one of the many flaws in my opinion of the game and while I have recruited (almost) all of them I haven’t felt particularly attached to any of them. They can be kidnapped while you sleep at a campfire and held for ransom by gangs as well. There is a particularly interesting segment in which you are forced into a few games of Russian Roulette that is completely random and can permanently kill off party members. It is an interesting situation but the random element makes it pretty frustrating and probably one of the few instances where I’d say the game is excessively cruel only to fit an aesthetic.

Buzzo is interesting in that he’s part of one of the game’s main selling points “Sacrifice”. Buzzo will stop you on your journey and force you into ultimatums that include sacrificing party members, giving up your items, or sacrificing your arms. Like I’ve described above though the issue is that there are so many party members and they are all pretty boring characters so it’s not a difficult choice to just sacrifice them unless they are integral to your battle strategy. These mostly came off to me as more calculated decisions than heartfelt dilemmas. The only time this ever felt like a tough choice is when Buzzo holds Buddy captive and gives you an option to cut off one of her nipples. Yeah, that’s probably another situation where the game goes a bit too far to be more edgy than it even needs to be, especially since you are rewarded with her nipple as an equipable item. Buzzo is a pretty important antagonist of the series, but sadly he doesn't offer much to the text of LISA and is almost completely redundant when we dive into his backstory later in LISA The Joyful.

And about Rando…. we’ll get to Rando later. (Spoilers, of course the masked warlord is the final boss)

Anyway you are probably wondering if the game tries to be way more excessively cruel for aesthetics, and sadly it does, but mostly outside of the main narrative. There’s a lot of side stuff that leads into “wacky dark humor” stuff that of course is there. There’s a lot of ultimately pointless violence that doesn’t exactly serve any purpose than to be there, suicides that more come off as jokes thus somewhat undermining the series narrative conceits about suicide, and a lot of npcs yelling about wanting to rape Buddy, which makes sense considering the setting, but it does at times seem a bit much and once again considering the narrative being about the rape and abuse of a young girl and its effects on a large amount of people, seems a bit out of place. I guess Olathe really is a land of “Perverts” as advertised. Speaking of “Perverts” the way the Dismal Jesters cameo in the game is really fucking strange, but not really in a good way in my opinion. “Slave Lord Jim” basically forces you into playing the role of Jonathan Holmes in his famous “Sexy Boy Jonathon” bit, but it just comes off as really creepy when it involves the player as an ultimately non-consenting member. Though fun fact, I crit the Jonathan Holmes boss for 10K damage!

Alright, so those of you in know are probably wondering what I think about the “Queen Bees” as a queer trans woman who also happens to be pro-sex work. First off, how dare you be so presumptuous that because I am a queer trans woman I must have a special opinion on this part of the game, but in all seriousness… I’m a bit mixed on it. The Queen Bees are a group of drag queen sex workers who run a brothel in the swamp area of the game, and yes their appearance is probably… exactly what you are thinking of. However, despite their real sad stereotypical appearances the Queen Bees are actually pretty cool. The game is largely pretty sex-worker positive and you can even become one yourself. It is odd that the game systemizes sex-work as combat which could be problematic for a variety of reasons, but what it does great is that it makes sex-work appear just like your regular grind, it is WORK. I find the Queen Bees interesting but definitely could probably be greatly improved in a lot of ways.

So that’s a lot of ugly negatives, but what the game is truly brilliant at is its narrative, so I’ll get back to that.  Where the game story finally shows its hand is when Brad is finally reunited with Buddy. However, Buddy refuses Brad. Buddy expresses her hatred of Brad. Brad is a terrible, obsessive, and abusive father. He’s not quite obviously abusive in the sense that his father is, however Brad is still terrible. He spent his time raising Buddy high on Joy and locking Buddy in a basement. Once again, more reflections between Brad and his father Marty. Brad has also gone on a quest to retrieve Buddy by murdering people who are ultimately trying to help Buddy. Buddy has accepted her fate as the new mother of mankind, but Brad still tries to take her back. Buddy ultimately gets away but Brad still continues his journey to chase her down.

Where does Lisa fit into all this? Well, part of Brad’s obsession over raising Buddy is that he feels he needs to redeem himself for not saving his sister. Brad is merely using Buddy as a replacement for Lisa, thus robbing Buddy of her individuality along with her consent over her fate. Brad not letting go of his sister’s death and placing the blame all on himself. This is a fascinating exploration through the mind of an abuser. How Brad sees the world, himself, and Buddy in extremely unhealthy ways. And do not be mistaken, the narrative clearly does not paint Brad in a negative light. The game may try to persuade you to think that way making him the “hero” but the game subverts this to show you how awful the hero father really is in this story.

Speaking of Lisa, there is a really interesting part towards the end where Brad finds Buddy living with Marty Armstrong. You get to beat Marty to death, which is very cathartic! It also serves the narrative purpose of having Brad ultimately lowering Brad to Marty’s level. You do get the choice to spare Marty, but ultimately your player consent is denied as the effect of Joy forces Brad to give into his desires.

At last you make it to Rando Land… well there’s a sidequest where you join a wrestling company and break the Death Queen’s streak and a superboss named Satan (who’s sadly not actually Satan), but I could really gush on forever let’s get to Rando Land, the end of the game.

At last you make it to Rando Land where Buddy is with Rando and his army. Sadly we don’t get a lot of backstory on Rando quite yet, but he’s probably the least villainous final boss ever. The first time you meet him, he has tears falling from his mask. When you ultimately meet him and his army at Rando Land he finally speaks… but with a stutter as if he’s actually emotionally weak, though he is super buff and a master of the martial arts like Brad so he’s no pushover. Honestly, Rando would probably be considered the true hero of the LISA series as he’s a real nice guy and wants to help Buddy realize her destiny of the matriarch of mankind. While I'd disagree with that statement for reasons specific to LISA The Joyful, I will agree that he is certainly a foil to Brad, though as I’ve mentioned, this isn’t a story of heroes.

Before Brad faces off the entire Rando Army by himself, Brad’s former party members (or at least the ones in your immediate active party) return and immediately turn on Brad. In case you had any doubt, either this or Buddy literally spelling out to you should hammer in the idea that “[BRAD] IS A MONSTER”. Brad kills his party members, Brad kills the Rando Army, and Brad faces Rando himself.

In the end Brad is left severely wounded, bleeding out, arrows sticking out of him like a pincushion. He walks over to Buddy who is now alone amidst the corpses. Brad and Buddy talk. Buddy expresses her hatred for Brad and all that he has done to hurt her. Tears fall from Brad’s eyes. He asks Buddy to hug him. The game offers you a final choice. Interestingly enough you control Buddy in this last instance. Finally Buddy can have a choice in the narrative! The ending to LISA The Painful is probably one of the most strongest endings to any game I feel I've played. Its a brilliant subversion of the "heroic final stand" and an extremely tragic end for our characters. I feel like I'd put this up there for one of the most impactful, emotional endings up there with the likes of MOTHER 3, which is certainly a big inspiration of Dingaling.

Brad collapses. Credits roll.

“Lisa…”

Accept It - LISA The FIrst

Content Warning: The following contains discussions of child abuse, rape, and suicide.

            LISA The First is probably one of the hardest games to sit through that I have ever played. Not because it is difficult, but because the subject matter hits me in a very personal way that I don’t feel comfortable disclosing here. As Lisa makes her way from her room, down the hallway, as the sound a tv gets louder and louder, frozen at the top of a stair case, terrified of who sits down there… I panicked. I shut the game off. I didn’t play it for a few more days. I knew about the subject matter coming into it, but I was not prepared on how it would trigger such a specific feeling inside me.

            Of course you read the content warning up above, but the LISA series is a series primarily about the ripple effects from an abuse of the titular young girl Lisa from her father Marty Armstrong. The First is a psychological adventure game in which you try to run away from your abuse. Unique from the later two, LISA The First is not an RPG and has no combat. It is also the only game that has a traditional RPG top-down view. LISA The First is a very experimental game about exploring the mind of a young girl in this dark and horrible situation.

            You’d think I’d hate the game for how it made me feel, but instead I found it endlessly fascinating. To have a game that, even if accidently, hits me at such a personal level that I have never experienced in any other game is just beautiful to me. It feels like a game I’ve been waiting to have the courage to create myself, but has already been made for me.

            Of course being a game about child abuse and rape you’d probably wonder if it does a decent job at handing the subject matter with enough tact to not be exploitive or insulting. For the most parts I’d say yes. LISA The First has a cruel, but honest exploration about the abuse depicted. The game is about trying your hardest in vain to escape the abuse, but no matter how far you run, you can never forget, the abuse will always be with you. Lisa could never escape her father Marty. No matter what she’d always see his face. The ending tells you to just accept it. This is the awful reality that Lisa has to face. Even in the secret alternate ending, where Lisa tries to find comfort in memories of her mother, all she can see is Marty’s face.

            LISA The First is very bleak about its outlook, which I can understand if that would disappoint people. The game doesn’t have an uplifting message about abuse. The game is cruel, but sadly relatable, possibly even too much so for me.

Framerate Debate - FPS and Objective Quality

            There’s a rather large debate going on recently though has been really going on for years, decades even, about games and their frame rates. 60 Frames Per Second recently has been getting probably the largest spotlight it ever has in the industry. Due to consumer demand, a lot of games have been even claiming “60 FPS!” as a major selling point. The industry seems to be pushing 60 FPS as a new industry standard and consumers are happy to have their voices heard.

            ...Though some might argue maybe too happy. I’m not exactly interested in pointing fingers, but there appears to be a few groups pushing the 60 FPS standard with more effort than ever before. Through a plethora of methods passionate fans are pushing harder than ever to get their precious frames. However, I can understand how some might be a bit concerned with this “framerate policing”.

            Now don’t get me wrong, typically I would say that 60 FPS would preferable to lower framerates, but I have no illusion that a game’s framerate is some sort of objective statement about its quality. There are plenty of games that suffer from low framerates and some that wouldn’t exactly gain anything from more frames. There are plenty of sub-60 FPS games that are fantastic, and some 60 FPS games that are just terrible. I can’t help but feel the people pushing the 60 FPS standard so aggressively are chasing some ghost of objective quality that just does not exist in the art form of video games.

            I can totally understand where the argument may stem from though. A higher framerate would make for smoother controls. A lot of games are action packed so every frame could make the difference between life and death. Higher framerates are probably most noticeably important in fighting games where single frame reactions and links between moves could mean the difference between victory or defeat. Though video games are a much bigger art form than twitch action games and not all of these really need the extra frames.

            The game industry at large has been pretty poor at communicating about this issue though. When fans would ask about sub-60 framerates the industry would come up with some really poor excuses. Though their actual reasoning is likely very simple. The industry pushed hard in the visuals. Picture perfect graphics, high poly counts, detailed textures, lighting and other effects, the list goes on. All of these graphical touches require system resources and they can easily improve these graphical elements at the cost of having to animate more frames. Simply put, the industry had much higher priority in graphics than it did framerate.

            Personally I don’t exactly agree with this reasoning a lot of the time. Most these graphical touches don’t exactly amount to anything substantial to me. When the industry wants to churn out bland, uninteresting, gritty, realistic looking games I can’t get too excited for what they care to do with the system resources they dedicate to graphics. In most cases I’d probably agree totally that the industry could ditch the realism and improve something, so why not the framerate.

            Though there are times where the resources used on graphics are actually put to good use. When all of the industry’s graphical tricks go into making a game look more beautiful and more artful, rather than gritty and real, I can sacrifice the frames. Some games might even need the lesser framerate to better fit its art-style. This is typical in games that try to emulate a specific style of animation like Claymation for example. Also, while I may disagree on the industry’s use of the term “CINEMATIC” is in fact an art-style. If the industry wasn’t trying to push really bland looking games I’d be in total agreement with them on this topic.

            None of this exactly matters to some games though. Some games gain nothing from having a higher framerate. When we are criticizing trivia games for not running at 60 FPS, the argument looks pretty silly. There’s no high paced life or death single frame reaction you’d need in a game that just doesn’t operate like that. Trivia games, puzzle games, adventure games, role-playing games, etc. operate much more slow and single frames just aren’t as important, and if those frames could be canned to better the game in areas that’s actually important than that’s better for the game.

            The framerate debate tends to fall more into a more tech obsessed side of gaming. Games that perform optimally and make the best use of their extremely expensive systems are better. This tech ideology in games is another ghost of objective quality that passionate fans seem to be chasing. Honestly, the framerate debate probably hurts the less tech savvy portions of gaming. The demand that games improve their framerate would make a lot more games tough to run on lower end systems. Designing the game for a lower, but playable framerate would be better for these fans. Of course, the tech fetishists of games likely wouldn’t care for poorer people playing on lesser systems.

            Objective quality in games is a lie. Objective quality in games is an illusion that the games industry and mainstream games press have created so consumers would see their games not as art, but products to be bought and consumed. I feel games criticism is definitely getting further away from this, but the over-passionate tech fetishists fans of games chasing the same ghosts of objective quality through framerate is not doing games criticism any help.  Framerate is an important part of videogames, but it’s not a measurement of quality. Criticisms about a game’s framerates should honestly be seen as a more case by case basis. Is this game’s framerate acceptable? Would this game gain anything from a higher framerate? What would this game lose in exchange for a higher framerate? There’s no universal answer to all these questions for every videogame, so why even pretend that 60 FPS should be a make-or-break feature on every game? There is no objective measurement for games. Objective quality is a lie we keep kidding ourselves is true.

First Steps Into Kanto - Special Thanks Satoru Iwata

I’ve wanted to write about this particular topic for a while, but now is arguably the most appropriate time to write about it. Pokémon Crystal is a very important game to me. It is the namesake of this blog. It is the game that got me into RPGs. It is a game that cemented Pokémon as one of my all-time favorite game series. It is, without hyperbole, my favorite videogame.

            With the recent passing of Satoru Iwata, I’ve been thinking a lot about Pokémon Crystal again. It is not exactly Iwata’s biggest game. In fact, Iwata is only credited as a Special Thanks in the credits of Pokémon Gold and Silver. However, Pokémon Crystal wouldn’t be half the game it is without Iwata.

            The story goes Iwata developed some file compression tools to help add more content into Pokémon Gold and Silver which would end up being the Kanto portion of the game. His brief involvement made the games almost literally twice the games they were originally planned to be. I am forever grateful for his involvement. However, the goal of this piece is not to dwell on Iwata’s passing. I want to talk about how I felt taking my first steps back into the Kanto region playing Pokémon Crystal.

First Step Into Kanto

            Typically when playing Pokémon your goal is to become the Pokémon Champion of your region. You travel the region, form of a team with the new region’s Pokémon, collect the 8 gym badges, and challenge the Elite Four and the Champion at the Pokémon League to earn the rank of Champion and complete the game. However, the Generation II series is a bit different thanks to the expanded content made possible thanks to Iwata. On your way to the Pokémon League to challenge the Johto Champion, you are stopped and told you took your first steps into Kanto. You are told to check your map. Suddenly a whole new map appears before you to explore. Once you become Pokémon Champion of Johto you are asked to challenge the Gym Leaders of the Kanto region, the region from the original Pokémon games. Suddenly the game now has a whole surprise second half, and the surprises just start there.

            Taking the first steps into Kanto was very special to me. I was young and witnessing the game suddenly unfold into twice its expected size blew my mind. That was just the start though. The first steps into Kanto were a big deal, but I was never prepared for what lay ahead in this familiar, but new frontier.

Misty Appearing Older Than She Did In Her Original Appearance in Pokemon Red, Blue, and Green

 

What Remains of the city of Cinnabar Island

Blaine's New Makeshift Gym In a Seafoam Island Cave

            The Generation II Pokémon games are a sequel. Time has passed in Kanto which has changed some parts of the familiar region dramatically. Familiar characters such as the old Gym Leaders have aged visually. One Gym Leader, Koga was promoted to an Elite Four member so the Fuchsia City Gym Leader position was replaced with Koga’s daughter Janine. The iconic Viridian Forest that many players remember from the originals is now reduced to a route of mere shrubs. In the time passed between games, Cinnabar Island was destroyed by volcanic eruptions. A whole town integral to the adventure in Kanto was now gone, and the Gym Leader Blaine moved his Gym into a cave in Seafoam Island. The final Gym of Viridian City was led by the leader of the antagonist group Team Rocket, Giovanni. However, Giovanni left the group between games along with his position as Viridian City Gym Leader. In a huge surprise, the new Viridian City Gym Leader was now the former Champion of Kanto and the rival character from the original Pokémon games, Blue.

            After defeating Blue and claiming your final badge in Kanto, the final challenge of the Generation II Pokémon games awaits in the mysterious Mt. Silver. You make your way through Mt. Silver to be greeted with one final challenge.

The Final Battle

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Red

            The final challenge is the Pokémon Champion of Kanto, the player character from the original Pokémon games, Pokémon Trainer Red. This final surprise was probably one of the most exciting finales to a game in my childhood. To end the long journey through Johto and the unexpected journey through Kanto against the character I played as in the original game was the stuff of dreams, but it was real and in my hands.

The battle is one of the hardest in the game with an unprecedented team of Pokémon near the 80 levels. The team is made of six Pokémon; Pikachu, Venusaur, Charizard, Blastoise, Espeon, and Snorlax. These Pokemon represent the journey of the first Pokémon game through the Kanto region. There are the four possible starters and cover mascots of the first generation titles. There’s an Espeon which is an evolved form of an Eevee you receive as a gift on your journey, and of course the Snorlax you find blocking your way that you awoke with the PokeFlute. The Espeon choice is particularly interesting as they could have gone with one of many of Eevee’s other evolutions, but went with Espeon. Likely this is the case because Red’s team already has most the other types covered and Psychic happens to be more advantageous than Umbreon’s Dark due to Snorlax being weak to Fighting, which Espeon counters. Espeon also evolves through Friendship which implies Red and Espeon have a strong bond. Also, Espeons are known to be very loyal to trainers they deem worthy, though this information was only stated in the game in the Generation III Pokedex.

Two Champions challenge one another in the depths of Mt. Silver. Both Champions prepare their powerful teams for battle. Only one Champion will stand in the end as the victor, the superior champion between both Kanto and Johto, a true Pokémon Master. Three long journeys have built up to this, from Kanto to Johto and back to Kanto again. I feel that makes a more than fitting finale for such a long journey.

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            And just like that Pokémon Generation II ends.

Special Thanks

Satoru Iwata

(1959 – 2015)

The World I Live In: LGBT

            Likely if you are reading this you’ve seen my tweet regarding people’s ire for tumblr and hatred for queer, LGBT, or whatever your label of choice, people are so closely linked they might as well be one in the same. Personally I’m about sick of the discussion so I’m not interested in discussing it further here. Instead I want to chronicle some of my thoughts on an interesting response of the topic that has got me thinking. Now, the response shall remain totally anonymous as I don’t want anyone to be upset at this individual. I don’t even know them. I will likely never hear from them again. Though I do applaud them as they got me to think a lot about what I’ve said, even if I respectfully disagree.

            What world do I live in? I’ve been thinking a lot about that. I’ve been thinking a lot about this world I live in and how people like me are perceived and treated. Women are murdered and raped everyday just for being women. Lesbians, bisexuals, pansexuals, and the like get beaten and cast out of families everyday even after they’ve “won”. Though it is the treatment of trans people that weighs heavy on my mind tonight, and every night.

            “Queer People” I called them in my tweet. Queer people I find solidarity, though that choice of terminology was an issue. I understand the problematic history of the word “queer”. I understand to some it’s not a proud term. Though sadly to me, it’s probably the big catch-all term I find the most solidarity in.

            “LGBT” apparently the correct terminology I should have used. LGBT are the initials for the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender community. LGBT is a banner that instills a lot of pride for the downtrodden people of sexuality. They are a group that fights for equality against a grossly conservative, heteronormative world, the world that I live in.

            Sadly, in the world that I live in I cannot blindly take pride in the banner. I cannot march under the Rainbow Flag and act as if everything is okay. I cannot just act as if this LGBT community has my people under the T in their priorities. In LGBT, not all the letters are created equal. I take little pride or solidarity in the initials LGBT. Even as someone who falls under half of initials I cannot help but feel hopelessly alienated.

            Honestly, I strongly disagree with the idea that you can just initialize all the “important” identities into a neat little row. LGBT is quite a few identities too short. There are the extended versions like LGBTQ for people who identify under the problematic “queer” label or could be interpreted to include those “questioning”. LGBTQI is there for inclusivity of Intersex people. LGBTQIA is an extension to include asexual people. The list goes on, but I can’t help but feel for my friends and loved ones who get treated as “extensions” to the contemporary LGBT banner. The community just shrugs its shoulders and suggests if you were part of the “important” identities you would’ve made the initial cut. It all gets worse once you get to some downright insulting modifications to the banner like B for Bronies or A for Allies. Depressingly some people would accept those identities in before ones that my loved ones lay.

            Though even with just the contemporary four, LGBT, not all is fair. Trans people end up needing to fight to get any pull in LGBT spaces. Instead the T gets misgendered and abused. The T gets told that the cis people of the movement or even cis allies are more important. The T gets booed out of LGBT Pride Events for speaking their voice. The T is not equal, and I find it hard to find solidarity in that.

            The larger LGBT community is terribly transphobic too. It’s terrifying how many TERFs (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists) get accepted in the LGBT community. Cis members of the LGBT community have no idea of the struggles of the trans people they are supposed to be fighting for, and quite frankly many of them do not care. Yet whenever trans people gain any ground these same people get to pat themselves and their Rainbow Flag on a good job for our hard work trying to survive. To tell you the truth, the larger LGBT Pride community scares me.

            Now do not get me wrong here. I am not asking for trans people or their cis allies to boycott the LGBT banner. I understand as much as any other trans person that our options for pride and inclusivity can be depressingly low. If you can take pride in the LGBT banner and that works for you more than other labels like “Queer” then go right ahead. I personally just cannot find any solidarity in the banner. I do not wish it harm, on the contrary I wish for a day that LGBT spaces are safe and inclusive enough for trans people like me to take pride in the banner. Until then I guess I have to look for alternatives that work for me, alternatives that work in the world I live in.